|
LXXVIII
In
the evening the
stardust begins to sparkle above my head, and I sense the abyss over which
my life is dangling. And with a trembling soul I stretch out my hands to
You and cry out: O Lord, the terrilying world has enveloped me from every
direction, as the sandy desert envelops a small tiny oasis.
I
shall not be able to hold out, if You do not brace me with Your strength.
The sand will cover over my green pasture, it will clog the spring in the
pasture, and the sand dunes will rise above the palm trees. And beneath
the sands a heart that has loved you will be reduced to dust, and the dust
will stick to the hoofs of camels. And the sand will stop the mouth that
has known only a single song,. a hymn to You the Almighty. And out of the
millions of years of life one day of life will be erased, as though it had
never existed. And the weighty wheels of the universe will clatter on, no
longer even caring that it has turned a day of life into a grain of sand.
But
You are stronger than the world, O Lord my God, and You will lend Your
servant a cherubic sword of flame, with which I shall repel the onslaught
of the world on my life.
I
shall not be saved, even if I am as equally strong as the world, much less
so if I am less strong than the world. One who is equal to the world does
not overcome the world, nor does the world fear him; instead the world of
trivialities teaches one less strong than itself to prepare a grave for
himself. Yet I shall be saved if I am more powerful than the world, and
conquer the world.
My
self-delusion portrays the world to me as an awesome power. When
self-delusion dies within me and truth begins to
He
who was born of Truth and sent by Truth easily conquers the world.1 The
world flees before Him as a shadow flees before the sun.
Fear
of the world is the nourishment, day and night, of those who have
separated themselves from Truth. Made by the world, they have become the
world's puppets, with which the world plays, as a child plays with his
toys. The children of Truth are begotten of Truth and do not fear those
made dead. Help
me, my God, to conquer the world within myself; and I shall easily conquer
the world outside me.
I
shall not become arrogant by conquering the world, for the victory is
Yours and not mine.
I
shall let You increase, while I shall decrease, and like a child I shall
cling to Your garment.
I
shall let Your Word take up
His abode in my body, and I shall expel from myself all the powerless
words, taught to me by the world. Your Word
is innocence, and wisdom, and power. He will annihilate what is
made in me, and will help me be born.
The
body, which the Word of God
inhabits, is no longer a body made by the world, but a body conceived and
commenced by the Holy Spirit. Enslaved by the world, my soul has woven me
a slave's body as well. Therefore both my soul and my body tremble in
terror of the world.
Illumine
my soul, my Luminous God, and she will take courage and free herself of
the world. She will become a sonlike soul, who will know how to weave a
sonlike body, to be a temple of the Son of God.2
When the stardust begins to sparkle above my head, I call upon You for help, my Most Holy God, and I do not fear all the worlds, Just as a son does not fear the servants in his father's house.
_________________________________________________________ 1. Cf. John 16:33.
|
|
|
